Man's Country
by Jirubee
Summary: Nothing says 'man' like wilderness and hunting for your own food. Nevertheless, Miroku wasn't entirely sure he could trust InuYasha with a gun. Placed 1st for the Last Meal challenge at iy-fanfiction on LJ. InuYasha & Miroku. Rated for InuYasha's mouth


**A short one shot written for #prompt 8 **_**last meal**_** for iy-fanfiction on LJ.**

**Here's the link to **_**le community - **_.com/

**howlingowl/oh jiru = same person. :)**

**Enjoy, my friends.**

**Man's Country**

Camping? _Who's idea was it, anyway_?

Graciously, Miroku glowered at the man in front of him. It was colder than it had been in years, and windy as all get out. InuYasha, who sat contently drinking a coffee, was just as pleased as punch about getting away from it all.

It was supposed to have been a _man's weekend_. As it were, _he_ apparently was the only _man_ in attendance.

His cherubic friend seemed out of place, almost as lost as his girlfriend would have been. Hell, she actually may have faired better than Miroku, InuYasha snorted.

Miroku adjusted his glasses, letting out a sigh. A plume of white curled from his lips like smoke, hoping that the fire would _actually _do it's job. "InuYasha, " He said, smacking his lips. "Tell me, why did we have to come out here in the dead of winter?"

The dark headed man scoffed, pulling at the corner of his plaid toboggan. "Keh. _Why not_? Ain't no one else out here. I figured we could at least shoot the shit before you get married, and all. Besides, Kagome's been trying to meet my parents." He shuddered beneath his wooly coat.

Miroku rolled his eyes in exasperation, "You ran away, didn't you?" He arched a thick brow, watching his friend's face callow at his inquiry. His parents were known to be pretty forward about arranging a marriage.

InuYasha pressed his mouth into a line, shoving himself to his feet. "Uh, _yeah_," He admitted, headed towards his tent. "You know how Kagome is, she'd just throw herself into my family like she belongs there." Which, eventually, she really would.

"How noble of you, InuYasha." Miroku chided, rubbing his growling stomach. His fingers were like brittle pieces of bark, cracking and flaking from the cold. Looking around the site, he rummaged through a few bags for a bag of Consomme chips and plopped back down.

Ripping it open, satisfied with the crunchy pop, he shoved some in his mouth. "So," He chewed, "What are we going to eat for dinner? You said you were taking care of that." Idly, he rubbed the salt from his fingers as InuYasha stumbled out of the weathered tent.

In his hand, the man held out a rusty old shotgun. Miroku's face fell dreadfully. It had apparently creased in his stomach, leaving him licking the salt out of the bag. All hope for dinner was extinguished. "Please tell me that you packed food." He said, seeing InuYasha's proud expression growing as he tucked a knife into his belt loop.

"I said it was a_ man's _weekend, and I _am _taking care of dinner." The gruff man replied, finding his way to a thicket of trees beyond the clearing. It felt like they were in the middle of nowhere.

Miroku grimaced as he stood up. He had become far too accustomed to Sango's cooking and a microwave to know how to hunt. With a sigh, he adjusted his jacket, following his friend into the darkness.

His tennis shoes crunched the crystalized foliage beneath his feet. Finding InuYasha wasn't hard, seeing as how he was the only thing _moving _in the snow. "I'm pretty sure that all of the animals, that you could kill, have decided to stay warm."

InuYasha jerked the gun, scrunching his face incredulously. "Seriously?" He said, watching his companion roll his eyes. "You knew what this was supposed to be. This is how real men do shit."

"_Yeahhh,_" Miroku sighed between his teeth. "I'm aware that you feel as though you need to wear the pants somewhere." He bit sarcastically, placing his hands within the warmth of his denim pockets.

InuYasha's face was slack, just like his hold on the gun. It took him a moment to get it and when he did, he slapped his friend in the back of the head. "Like you have room to talk."

Miroku rubbed his wound, scowling at the dirty ground. Well, what he could see of it anyway. "Unlike you, I am quite compelled to let Sango do the things that she does. That's why _I_ am the lucky soul getting married!"

The man scoffed, turning his nose up. "_Heh. _I don't need a woman to take care of me, I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself." He said proudly.

A moment had passed in silence, leaving Miroku to question as to how InuYasha was even able to maintain a relationship. The quiet was interrupted by a loud clatter, to which InuYasha immediate pursued.

Miroku stumbled, grabbing onto the slick tree trunks for guidance. "Wait for me, InuYasha!" He called, hearing the resounding voice of the gun. It bellowed like a drum, leaving a trail to find him by.

"_InuYasha!_" A familiar, and very infuriated, voice cried out. The boy winced, clanking the gun to his chest. Fear overtook his features, leaving him green from the hissing coming from the edge of the forest line.

Miroku furrowed his brows, adjusting his box frames carefully. He inspected the distinct color that, even in the darkness, was housed upon InuYasha's cheeks. Finding _this _was far more exciting than finding a dead animal at the end of the gun's trail.

"_Fu-uck._" He groaned, chewing at his lip nervously. Rolling his dark eyes towards Miroku, he shifted his gaze between him and the gun in his hands. The thought crossed his mind of shoving it in his hands and running, until they heard that shrill scream again.

Miroku's mouth quivered as he tried to hold back his laughter. His hands cupped his mouth, trying so desperately not to vomit from the violent stimulation. "Why is Kagome here?" He panted, raising back up from his knees.

InuYasha pulled his toboggan down, hiding his face as much as possible. "Doesn't matter, you jackass!" He barked.

Weaving through the small harem of trees, Kagome's petite form came into view. Her jaw was clenched tightly as she found the men just standing there. When she made it to InuYasha's recoiling body, she narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, Miroku." She said as cheerfully as possible, jerking the gun silently from her boyfriend. "Take this, before I drop it." Kagome waved a pizza box in front of the other man.

Miroku looked at it precariously, "What's this for?"

Kagome punched InuYasha in the arm, "InuYasha called me whining, begging me to bring him food. Trust me, it's going to his last meal."

_Snort. _

Her boyfriend crossed his arms over his chest, as Kagome leaned into him. "You shot my car." She said, grabbing his ear while Miroku popped open the pizza box. InuYasha didn't stand a chance.

Plus, what dinner isn't complete without entertainment? Cold be damned, this was the best man's weekend he'd ever had.


End file.
